The Kindness of Strangers

I continue to be in awe of the level of support I've experienced from total (and almost total) strangers during this IF journey. Yesterday morning I was brought to tears as I was again reminded just how many people are pulling for us to have a baby. I expect this from my family and friends -- although they often struggle with what to say or do, I know that they want whatever will make us happy. But people I barely know? What do they have invested? Why do they care?

At my CD3 ultrasound this morning, one of my regular nurses (there are three at the satellite office I use for monitoring) and I were chatting about moving onto IVF, and whether or not it was worth it to do another injectables cycle. She asked me if our insurance covered any of our meds, and I sighed, because no, they don't. She started digging in their little mini-fridge and produced a brand-new, 900 IU Gonal-f pen. "We got this for free," she said. "It should save you a little bit of money."

I was speechless. A LITTLE? Try over $700! She then said, "Hold on a minute." She dug around in a cabinet in another room, and then handed me $250 worth of progesterone gel. "You only have to do this once a day. I know how much you hated those suppositories."

I was floored by her simple, casual generosity. I hugged her. I started to cry. I couldn't thank her enough. "Don't cry!" she told me. "We just want you to get pregnant." Those few words did so much to erase that feeling of loneliness that I have battled all weekend.

I wish I knew the name of the patient who donated her meds so that I could thank her as well. All I can do now is thank God, and ask that He rain blessings down upon both Nurse Angel and the unknown former-infertile(s) who just saved me and Mo over $1000. With the meds I have left over from last cycle, we should come out of this one for just the cost of the IUI -- a pretty amazing feat considering that they are doubling my dose.

This morning I will be calling our big-city clinic (as opposed to our small but friendly satellite office) to discuss scheduling IVF following this month's cycle. Mo and I did decide that this would be our last injectables cycle -- either it works, or we move on. I feel like we have been on this journey for so long to get to this point -- it still amazes me when I read blogs or TTC summaries and see people doing IVF (or multiple IVF's) just one or two years into their journey. I know other women have other issues to battle (including age) that cause them to move ahead more quickly, but I honestly don't think we were ready until now. And, of course, we couldn't afford it before now, either.

I guess all this rambling is just my way of saying that I am so very grateful to God for placing people in my life that are helping us on this journey. I have Nurse Angel. I have my FIL, whom I believe is pulling some strings upstairs for us, and whose financial legacy is making this next step possible. And, dear Internet, I have you and this blog.

With such an army behind me, I feel like I can't lose.