I'm so sick of words!
I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you!
Is that all you blighters can do?
--excerpt from "Show Me" from My Fair Lady
Before Mo left last night, he trivialized his choice. "It's having a beer with the guys, or a divorce, huh?" he asked. No, I told him. It's a pattern of behavior that you're unwilling to change. It's acting like you are single, when in fact, you are not. The people he is hanging out with aren't married, aren't as old as he is, don't have half of what he has.
I told him that he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. And that, in fact, it was impossible to have both. That he had to pick one or the other.
And then he left.
--------------------
But then he called. Not long after posting this, my phone rang. Before I could even say hello, Mo was telling me that he was on his way home. "You're right. There's nothing out here for me. I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you."
I listened, without saying much. He said the refrain I've heard many times before. How he always thinks going out and having a drink will make him feel better, but how it never does. How he has everything he has always wanted, and he doesn't know why he's screwing it up.
He came home, and talked some more. I finally went to bed around 2 a.m., only to be awakened a while later with more talk. Although it is all the words I long to hear, I'm beginning to get tired of it. Words without action are meaningless.
After listening for a long time, I finally told him so. "I know it's trite, but it's true. Actions speak louder than words." I rolled over and went to sleep.
For now, Mo seems to be making the right choices. Does he really mean what he says? I think he does. Is he able to follow through? I'm not sure. I guess time will tell. In the meantime, I'm about ready to stick my fingers in my ears and "lalalalalala -- I can't hear you!" for the rest of the day.
Too bad I'm not as graceful as Audrey in making my point. Ah, if only life were a musical, with the song and dance followed up by a happy (if unrealistic) ending.
I hope he is able to make his actions match his words. {{{Hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteSo glad that he called and came home! Thats a step in the right direction :)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say - what a perfect video clip to emphasize how you're feeling!
ReplyDeleteSounds like he is making the first steps in the right direction. I hope things get better for you (and him) soon.
Well, it's a step in the right direction and I hope he proves his words with actions. Good luck, my dear, always wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that he's realized the path that he's been going down and that he wants to stop that.
ReplyDeleteI hope and pray that he is able to act according to what he says are his wishes.
And I thought I was the only one who made broadway musical references! I think I have a crush on you. Don't worry, I'm fickle! Anyway, good for you for finally putting a boot in his ass! He deserved it. And he'll deserve it again and again until he gets in the habit of staying home or making friends his own age and coming home at 11. 9, if he wants some nookie. And no, you're not kidding. Good luck, sweet pea!
ReplyDeleteI've also been in situations with DH where all the right words were said, but the right actions didn't follow--hoping for your sake (and Mo's) that he gets it right. :)
ReplyDeleteJust keep taking care of yourself. I hope you find some peace.
ReplyDelete