Momma MoJo

I'm lucky.

Didn't think you'd ever hear me say that, did you?

I am, in a very specific way. And I know it.

One of my favorite sarcastic-turned-happily-pregnant people posted a great question on her blog the other day: are you "in" or "out" of the fertility closet? The comments that this post sparked were varied and thoughtful. As I read through them, I was struck by how often women just like me expressed disappointment or hurt over the lack of support that their families had been able to provide.

I'm lucky.

Momma MoJo is the single most supportive person I know.

She has stood by me my entire life. She has never once questioned the decisions I've made, even when they've clearly been on the wrong side of stupid.

When, at age 16, I started dating a boy who was in college, she didn't try to stop me, even though I KNOW she had reservations.

When I wanted to move 600 miles away with my boyfriend at the tender age of 18, she paid for a moving van and co-signed the lease on my apartment, despite the fact that she was probably broken-hearted to see her oldest child go so far away.

When I announced at age 19 that the boyfriend and I were getting married, she gave me tips on how to do so on a budget.

Six months later, when we broke up, she listened without judgement as I cried.

Three months later, when I moved in with a man ten years older than me, she held her tongue. She even drove down to meet him -- and told me that she approved of my choice.

Less than a year later, when I told her we were getting married, she didn't tell me that it was too soon, although she thought it was. All she told me was that she wanted me to be happy. She helped me plan the wedding, altered my dress, made dresses for the flower girls, and cooked for 100+ people.

In the seven years since, she has withheld judgement time and time again, despite issues that would have had many, many women running for the hills.

My momma's mother (my grandmother) is the exact opposite. She's the type of woman who passes judgement (loudly) on everyone and everything. It's nearly impossible to meet her standards. And so, my momma determined years ago that she would do her best to be the opposite.

And she has. My mother has taught me, through example, what unconditional love is all about. She has taught me that loving someone through their faults often results in a stronger bond than trying to "fix" whatever is broken. She has shown me, time and time again, what being a mother is all about.

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful that I get a chance to be with my momma. I can hug her, and talk to her, share stories and wine. I can bask in her love as we cook, and clean, and go through all the rituals associated with an otherwise painful holiday. I relish the fact that I GET to spend time with her, instead of enduring it. I really am incredibly lucky.

I love you, Momma MoJo. And I hope that, one day, I can do as good by my own children as you have done by me.