Seeing Double

I went to the RE prepared this morning for the worst.

When the nurse, who was quietly deferential, first inserted the vagicam, I saw nothing.

"It's empty, isn't it?" I asked.

"Well, no, actually.. . ." she turned the monitor toward me. "There's a sac right here." She moved the wand a little bit and, lo and behold, there it was.

Still unbelieving, I asked, "It's kind of small, isn't it?" She said she didn't do enough of these super early ultrasounds to really say, but that, no it didn't look all that small.

Holy shit.

She kept looking (for a source of bleeding, I thought) and then she said, "There's the other one."

Ummm....what?

Granted, the second one was half the size of the first one. It WAS tiny. But it was there, which means it wasn't in my tube, my biggest fear of all. Could it be the source of the bleeding? Perhaps.

Ovaries looked good, cervix nice and closed.

Breathe.

She printed me off a beautiful picture, which unfortunately I am unable to scan for you. But, after comparatively Googling, I'm confident that at least one of those little guys looks like he/she should at 5w4d.

Oh, and my beta came in at 2790. They wanted at least 2500, and so were pleased. If not for the bleeding, which has become a full-on period-like flow, things would look textbook.

So now we do what all IF'ers are famous for: we wait. Dr. Optimistic wants another blood draw and ultrasound next week. I'm hoping and praying the blood stops before then. If I need to, of course, they have assured me that I can come in earlier.

I'm not out of the woods, yet. I'm still bleeding (quite a lot) for unknown reasons, and my lower back aches like I've been moving furniture (rest assured, I haven't). These are classic signs of a miscarriage. I could still be losing one, or both.

But, for today, they are still there, right where we left them.

Amazing.