The last five days have been dark. They've been full of anger, frustration, and anxiety. They've been days I hope never to relive again.
But, in the end, there is peace.
We've made a decision, folks. It's a risky one, but what in life isn't?
After much thought, we've decided to move home.
As in, NOW.
Mo will resign his teaching position tomorrow. I am finishing out the week, and then taking a leave of absence for the remainder of the year (I'm tenured, so I have that option. He does not).
On Saturday, we will head back home for several days to find a place to rent. Once we do, we'll come back and tie up our loose ends (put the house on the market, pack, etc.), and then it's back for GOOD.
It is probably the craziest, most "irresponsible" thing I've ever done. And I thank God that we even have the option. We have enough money (more in fact) to make this happen without adding undo stress on our already fragile marriage. I need to be with my family. Mo needs to be with my family. We need to get out of this town and the rut that we are in.
I've always been Little Miss Responsible (because, let's be honest, Mo is not) and so I've been the one insisting we finish out the school year. I've been the one resolute against giving up our jobs (and the "extra" two months of pay over the summer) before June. No more.
The last few days have been heartwrenching. But I've come to a conclusion: my husband, my MARRIAGE, means more to me than money. And if we have to take a hit to our IRA and our "future" security to save our relationship, then so be it.
I never married him for his money. Until two years ago, we didn't have any. We will be fine, financially speaking. So then what's the hold-up? Some ill-placed loyalty toward a school I don't like? People leave jobs mid-year all the time. I will find another position in the fall, of that I'm confident.
The ONLY drawback to this is that I will have to relinquish my beloved laptop (it belongs to the county). Without it, I am sure that posts will be infrequent. I will try my best, but please don't freak out if I don't post for a while. Know that I am OK, that I am doing what I need to do for myself, and for my husband.
Wish us luck.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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Wishing you more luck than you'll ever know. Please post when you can - no matter how infrequent. Will be thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteI hope this decision does bring you peace, peace in knowing that you are moving on and doing what you must to save your beloved marriage. I think you must do what is right for you, in your heart. Screw all that other crap! You are a strong woman and I will be thinking of you!!! Will look forward to updates as they come. Take care
ReplyDeleteWishing you so much luck! Congrats on making a difficult decision that you feel is right for you. You're doing great, sweetie! :)
ReplyDeleteWow! This is so brave and exciting!!! Good for you for taking control and doing what is right for you. I wish you everything wonderful in the world! You and Mo deserve happiness and peace and it sounds like you're on your way. I'll miss you! Thank you for your unending support, sister! Lots of love to you.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you guys in my thoughts, I hope that this move goes smoothly & brings you both exactly what you need at this moment in time.
ReplyDeleteSo very exciting! Wishing you & Mo all the luck in the world. I'm so happy for you, going home must feel awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes "irresponsible" is exactly what you need.
This is great. I'm glad that you have a plan, because that in itself can be very therapeutic. It really sounds like the two of your are on your way to getting everything figured out.
ReplyDeleteI'll miss you tons! Post when you can, and good luck finding new housing and with the move!
Wow, what a huge step. I am so happy for you for sticking up for what's most important to you: Your marriage and your family. Jobs can come and go, but marriage and family..... that's #1. Good luck with move. I really wish you all the best. And looking forward to keep hearing from you.
ReplyDeleteHoney, do what you need to do. We will all be here when you get back.
ReplyDeleteJo...I am so proud of you and Mo for taking this huge, huge step. You guys have been through so much--doing something for yourselves has been a long time coming. I will continue to pray for you and when you are able to get back here, I look forward to getting caught up. If you ever need to talk, you can always email at allgrownuptoo at gmail dot com. We'll miss you but we're all here for you, cheering you on. Hugs, dear friend, until we chat again!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, Jo! I'll be thinking of you guys and hope that this move brings you both to a happier place. Hugs...
ReplyDeleteThat is a big positive step! I understand about being unhappy where you are living. It can really make you miserable.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best as you make this huge change!
Very exciting decision and it sounds like this is exactly what you need to heal. I know your family will give you all of the love and support that you need and I hope that all of the other details (jobs, selling the house, etc) work out beautifully. Good luck with the move!
ReplyDeleteLots of love, {{{hugs}}}, and wishes for good luck coming your way. I hope this move brings peace to your hearts and minds.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a lot of luck, good thoughts, and love with the move.
ReplyDeleteWow, wow. As another person who is perpetually responsible, I understand so much about this decision. I hope that you (both) find the healing you need so much. Here's to newness.
ReplyDeleteI do wish you luck. Sometimes bold action is exactly what is needed to resolve a situation.
ReplyDeleteI hope this move brings you what you are looking for.
Those are some really major decisions, but it sounds like your making them for the right reasons. I hope you feel better after taking charge of your life in what you hope will be a positive way. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!! Will be thinking of you and hoping all goes smoothly.
ReplyDeleteWow, big decision - but you sound utterly at peace wtih it. And that makes me so happy for you. I know it won't be easy, but compared to everything you've dealt with - it should be a piece of cake. (Sort of)
ReplyDeletePlease know I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Hugs.
P.S. There's an award waiting for you on my blog. Come get it if you're not too busy packing. =)
I'm so glad you two are doing something good for yourselves right now. I hope your move goes smoothly, and I'm looking forward to your updates however infrequent they might be. ((Hugs))
ReplyDelete