Friday, August 12, 2011

I Can't Do This Anymore

This wasn't the post I had planned for today.

Beta came in at 14.5.

At that level, I shouldn't have gotten a positive on the CBE digital.

Which means they are dropping.

I will retest on Monday, but I'm not optimistic.

Two miscarriages, and now a fucking chemical.

I hate infertility, I hate IVF, and tonight -- I hate the Universe.

I can't do this anymore.
Posted by Jo at 4:44 PM

39 comments:

  1. Quiet DreamsAugust 12, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    I'm so sorry, Jo. So sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmberAugust 12, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Big, big, big, big hugs for you. :( <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. EmilyAugust 12, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    I'm so, so sorry. Its so not fair.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ChickenpigAugust 12, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    I'm so sorry :( This is so fucking unfair. I'm mad at the Universe with you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JackieAugust 12, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    Oh no. This is just one big mess of unfairness. I'm really sorry. Lots of hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. kkasunAugust 12, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    I am so sorry, hugs. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownAugust 12, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Jo,
    I am so sorry.
    Denise

    ReplyDelete
  8. JW MoxieAugust 12, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Dammit. I'm shaking my fists at the universe with you.
    I'm so sorry, Jo. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  9. A Shadow of My Former SelfAugust 12, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    I hate the universe too. I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  10. One Who UnderstandsAugust 12, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    I am so sorry Jo. This just sucks and totally isn't fair! HUGS and love to you my darling.

    ReplyDelete
  11. EricaAugust 12, 2011 at 8:02 PM

    I am so sorry to hear this!

    ReplyDelete
  12. RELHAugust 12, 2011 at 8:02 PM

    I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  13. RuthAugust 12, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    :( I'm so so sorry Jo. It's not fair ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brave IVF GirlAugust 12, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    Oh, Jo, I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AyshaAugust 12, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    I am so sorry about your news. crap.

    ReplyDelete
  16. shocksAugust 12, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    I'm so sorry Jo! This sucks and it's just not fair. Thinking of you and Mo.

    ReplyDelete
  17. StacyAugust 12, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    Thinking of you guys! That sucks and I am sorry .

    ReplyDelete
  18. MichelleAugust 12, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    Oh no no love. I'm sorry. Sorry is not enough. Life is unfucking fair. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  19. FrancieAugust 12, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    What terrible, crappy news. I was so excited for you. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Circus PrincessAugust 12, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Oh no, this wasn't the post I was hoping for either:( Hang in there sweetie!

    ReplyDelete
  21. GurleeAugust 12, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Wtf? For what it's worth, I am so sorry. Sending you strength and love.

    ReplyDelete
  22. LuluAugust 12, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : (

    (no words)

    ReplyDelete
  23. GigiAugust 12, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    I'm truly very sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  24. ShelbyAugust 12, 2011 at 10:31 PM

    So sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    deep breaths darling... It might not be as bad as a chemical. It could just be a low beta and an evap line. My second pregnancy, I got a faint line on a FRER- and a beta of only 13. I was told I would most likely miscarry, but I didn't.

    Should the worst happen, we're all here for you- but for now I'll just keep my fingers crossed.

    ReplyDelete
  26. EsperanzaAugust 13, 2011 at 1:37 AM

    I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting this post from you either. Keeping you in my thoughts and in my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousAugust 13, 2011 at 1:58 AM

    I'm so sorry. I'm still hoping it'll pull through, but, well, you know. It's completely unfair and I wish the news was better. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  28. Guiri de CaliforniaAugust 13, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    Oh no, honey. This is not the news that any of us expected nor wanted for you. I am so very sorry. Thinking of you. XX

    ReplyDelete
  29. My New NormalAugust 13, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  30. cdgAugust 13, 2011 at 7:33 AM

    I am so very sorry, this totally sucks. I am holding you and Mo in my thoughts...

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousAugust 13, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    So, so sorry. My heart is aching for you. Thinking of you and Mo.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Annie BAugust 13, 2011 at 8:34 AM

    No, is what not the post I was hoping for either. I hope you and your guy have support or someone you can talk to IRL to get through this. :(

    ReplyDelete
  33. KellyAugust 13, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    I hate the universe for you, too. I'm so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  34. MilesOWilleyAugust 13, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    If BFN's could be taken out and have their legs broken, I would do it for you. It isn't fair and I'm so very sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousAugust 14, 2011 at 1:05 AM

    Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this... :( :(

    ReplyDelete
  36. MichelleAugust 14, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm thinking of you and Mo and saying a prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AlexAugust 14, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Oh no, I'm so very sorry. You don't deserve this pain and heartache - at all!

    ReplyDelete
  38. ~stinkb0mb~August 15, 2011 at 6:12 AM

    fuck Jo. i'm so sorry. are they going to retest just in case it is a low number and it's yet to rise?

    i'm still keeping everything crossed for you until, well whenever, i'm still having hope for you because i know at times like this, it's hard to have it for yourself.

    sending big hugs my friend.

    ~x~

    ReplyDelete
  39. JamieAugust 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Oh, Jo. I don't know what to say. I'm sad but mostly so effing angry at the universe.

    Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)