Out of the blue, Mo asked me the other night: "What's purgatory?"
Apparently, a friend of his on F.B. had posted a status asking people's opinion on it. I briefly explained the concept to Mo, and we joked about it being like being the waterboy. You know, not being good enough to make the team, but not being bad enough to be in the band. (I know, I know, that's terrible. And, for the record, Mo played football AND was in the band, so we are both very aware of how wonderful it actually is, and how much can be gained from playing an instrument.)
Anyway, as I was writing yesterday's blog post, I was struck by how much our life right now feels like purgatory. We're not in hell -- not by a long-shot. Infertility bites, for sure. But, as heartbreaking as it is, it's nowhere near as hellish as the life we left behind. We're far enough from our losses that, while they still sting, they don't knock me over and take the breath out of me anymore.
Our lives, right now, are good. They are happy. WE are happy.
But it's not heaven. We're still incomplete. We are still missing that unencumbered joy, that peace, that satisfaction and feeling that this, THIS, is what we've been searching for. Like I imagine it must be in purgatory, we can see this happiness on the horizon, just out of reach. We believe that we can achieve it in time, and so we endure whatever is necessary to get to that place.
I can't help but wonder, though: how much longer will we have to wait?
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All metaphors aside, the concept of Purgatory greatly interests me. Any long-term readers will know that I am decidedly un-religious. I didn't grow up in a church, although we went infrequently. As a young adult I studied the Bible and became very "churchy" for a long time. Still, I feel as though my knowledge on the subject is definitely lacking. I come from a Protestant background, and Purgatory is not something that we embrace. I do know, however, that I have several Catholic and Jewish readers who could give me some insight into this whole idea. So, please, chime in below. What are your thoughts on Purgatory? What do you think happens when we die? Is this life just a preparation for what's to come, or do we make our own Heaven and Hell here on earth?
Monday, July 18, 2011
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I grew up Catholic, but don't practice anymore. In my opinion / experience - I don't speak for all Catholics, purgatory is kind of an old-fashioned concept that many Catholics don't believe in anymore. I went to 12 years of Catholic school and we didn't really learn about purgatory, other than some of the old nuns talking about it. I believe in heaven, but not hell or purgatory.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good question, but not one that I can answer well in my addelpated state.
ReplyDeleteI think that when we die we exist for a while in a heaven or hell of our own making, until the time we visit this plane again. I think that some souls may get stuck, unable to move forward until they make amends in someway. Anything is possible.
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI am a regular reader though I don't comment much. I am really hoping for you this cycle!
I am a practicing Catholic, though I come at it from a rather different perspective as my parents are not (my Dad doesn't believe in God at all, my mom believes God probably exists but organized religion has done a lot of harm through the ages - which cannot be denied - so she really doesn't feel drawn to any 'organized' path) - and of course, I cannot speak for all Catholics, christians or religious people - only my own POV.
Heaven - I believe exists as that union with God, the divine, with love. I think we do get glimpses of it in our lives here, sometimes the moments that take our breath away, sometimes through nature, music or art - just a flash of an idea of what heaven is - or sometimes in prayer or meditation.
Hell - when there is a deliberate choice to turn away from love, from other people - when hatred and death is chosen over love. When we get so choked up with our own pride that we shut out hte light and love that would otherwise enter.
Purgatory - when we are not quite ready to enter into that union with God; when we still have roadblocks (pride is a big one for me, you might have guessed) that prevent us from reaching out. I see 'sin' as anything that keeps us from God, from life, from love - from being who we truly are, the most alive and joyful we can be.
I hope this makes some kind of sense :)
Andie
I found reading 'the Tibetan book of the dead' to be very interesting and enlightening. It is a Buddhist text, or maybe tradition, that helps prepare a person for death - it goes through what happens, what to expect, so that the soul is not frightened and taken by surprise at everything. The way it explains things is that at hte moment when the soul is released from the body, it has to choose what direction to go in, and this can be a very confusing and frightening experience if you don' tknow what you are looking for or where you want to go.
I was raised by a Catholic mother, though I had no official religion other than just general Christianity. After much soul-searching, I am no longer religious in any form, so that will probably affect my answer to this question.
ReplyDeleteI know nothing about Purgatory, having never learned about it in any Sunday school or youth group. I do not know for sure what happens when we die, and I firmly believe that the only ones who do aren't able to tell us. I do believe in spirits and hauntings and things like astral projection, so I definitely believe that there is some sort of energy (maybe a soul? Whatever you want to call it) - I just don't know what that energy is or if there is someplace like a Heaven that we cross over to.
My general theory (with the knowledge that it may be very wrong) is that we go through different forms of Hell here on earth (physical, mental, emotional, etc.), and so I do not believe in an afterlife Hell. I don't necessarily believe in a traditional Heaven either, since that makes death seem like more of a reward and I have a hard time with that idea. But as stated before, I do believe that there is some sort of afterlife.
My husband believes that whatever you think in your heart will happen to you when you die is exactly what will happen.
To me, it's one of life's mysteries that we can't learn for sure until the time is right.
Best of luck to you this cycle!
As far as I know neither Jews nor Protestants believe in Purgatory. While I can't speak for the beliefs of individual Catholics (other than my own), I know that the Catholic Church teaches (and has always taught) that souls that are entirely pure go straight to heaven; souls that are out of communion with God (generally, have taken some affirmative act to reject the good or God's grace and have not repented of it) go to Hell, because they have chosen to reject communion with God; and souls that are in communion with God but are not entirely pure go to Purgatory, and, after purification/purgation, go to heaven to spend eternity in communion with God. The general idea is that God's presence is so overwhelmingly good/perfect/beatific/divine that it would not be possible for an impure person (tainted in any way by evil) to be in it. Purgatory is therefore an expression of God's mercy - to provide a way for souls to BECOME pure so that they may be in communion with God. My mother, who has vaguely strange insights on these things at times, once explained to me that Hell is the state of REALLY knowing the value of communion with God, and that that is the state for which our souls were destined - and never being able to have it. And that the suffering of purgatory is similar - that it's knowing what the ultimate end of the soul is, but being deprived of it for the time being (but with the knowledge that the deprivation is not permanent). This tallies pretty well with a reflection I read recently in Fr. Jean d'Elbee's book I Believe in Love recounting a vision of one of the saints (St. Therese maybe?) who was told by Jesus that "no soul enters hell but has ripped itself from My arms."
ReplyDeleteSo much longer of an answer than you were looking for :). And, yes, I believe all of that is true. It also makes purgatory a particularly apt comparison for the place you (and so many of us infertiles) find ourselves now. We know there are many good things in our lives and we have hopes of ultimate happiness. But we sense that part of the life for which our hearts and souls were designed is missing, and the missing is a cause of suffering, in the midst of all our other blessings.
Also, if that had been my DH, he would have called and threatened to KILL the clinic workers. Go Mo for being persuasive :).
I really can't help here. I have a lot of Buddhist leanings, but I'm technically agnostic because I don't think anyone can claim to know whether there's a higher power or not. I really doubt it though, and I definitely don't believe in all the reincarnation stuff. To me, dead people = worm chow.
ReplyDeleteJews in general don't have a lot of set beliefs about life after death. "The world to come" is mentioned in Jewish writings, but there is much less focus on that than in Christianity.
ReplyDelete