I am trying really hard not to be disappointed or to read too much into this. Our embryologist just called with what he called "good" news this morning. Of the 12 embryos remaining after transfer, we are able to freeze two of them.
Just two.
I already knew that 2 of the 12 were poor quality and not likely to make the cut. Still -- I had hoped for at least 4, which, in my mind, would give us two more tries.
What bothers me even more, though, is that out of 14 embryos, only 4 made it all the way to blast in good shape. I know it only takes one, and I know that sometimes less-than-stellar embryos make perfectly adorable babies. But given our history (two pregnancies, two first-trimester losses), I wanted a little bit more reassurance. A back-up, so to speak.
As if this wasn't reminder enough that things don't always turn out the way you would hope, one of my cyclesistas got a BFN today after her first IVF. Please stop by and give her some extra TLC, as I know her heart is broken.
I know in my heart of hearts that any sort of stressing/worrying/praying is futile -- but I can't help myself. Universe, if you could just send a break my way, I would be forever grateful.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
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I hope so much that the two you're holding onto now are "the one(s)." And, that the two on ice can be their little sibling(s). ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI hope the Universe is listening! I'm thinking about you guys like crazy and trying to send good vibes your way. ***hugs***
ReplyDeleteAnd, I am totally suggesting OccDoc thinking about the RE thing, seriously, we'd be set for life! LOL! And free IVF? Sign me up!
First of all, thanks so much for the love. You're so sweet.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I know how disappointing it is not to get the number of embryos you hoped for! How heartbreaking. I'm thinking of you and hoping you don't need four frozen embryos anyway ; )
I remember when A and I were young and naive (last month) and had so many conversations about the leftover embryos we were sure to have in cryo. What to do with them when we were done building our family??? The joke's on us because it's unlikely we'll ever have anything to freeze! Just goes to show that this all has to be taken one step at a time.
I'm so sorry, I know this is disappointing. But I really hope you won't need those frozen little guys, or at least not until Baby #2! Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I can only imagine how disappointing that is for you and Mo.
ReplyDeleteBut I am trying my darndest to send a break your way! You can get on the internet to say hi to us but stay away from Dr. Google!! I mean it!!
Ug! I'm sorry to hear that. :( Having two to freeze is better than none, though, and it sounds like the embryos that you have on board are really good ones.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like both of us are in a bit of the same funk today. Try to stay positive :) It is waaaaay too early in the 2ww for us to start getting squirrely ;)
I really hope that the universe had a good reason for only letting you have 2 to freeze. Like maybe twins twice then not having to worry about what to do with the others in the freezer! Please, universe, let them have this. You so deserve it and you're going to be such great parents.
ReplyDeleteSo I've decided that since most of the cyclesista's that I followed this month got a BFN, that we must have been throwing all of our positive energy to you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I know 2 isn't the news that you wanted to hear, but your twins need you to stay positive. :)
Oh Man :( Im sorry that the report didnt come back as well as you wanted it to. Hoping and Praying that all you need are these two with no back up needed
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and wishing me luck. I also wish you all the best. In my opinion, four blasts is an awesome thing. Praying for the best & thinking of you. XX
ReplyDeletei'm still keeping everything crossed that the two you have tucked into your belly now bring you a babe!
ReplyDeleteand you're right is does only take one but it still doesn't stop the feeling of disappointment if you get less numbers than you'd hoped for.
~x~