9dp5dt -- still negative. Not even a ghost of a whisper of an indentation of a line.
But, I'm doing better. Don't get me wrong -- its definitely not all sunshine and roses and happy, happy, joy, joy. But Mo and I both had a good cry yesterday (okay, I had SEVERAL), and we apologized to one another over and over again, and then reassured each other over and over again that it's not the other's fault.
It just is.
Do we wish it ended differently? Hells yeah.
But it is what it is.
And we will keep trying to build our family. We really aren't ready to talk about how just yet -- DS/IUI, DE/FET, IVF w/ PGD, adoption. There are so many ways this could go, and we really just need some time to think it over and decide how to proceed. The thing is, we have options. And that helps, I think, in easing some of my pain.
This is not the end.
The other thing that helps is the unending support from my bloggy friends. You guys are awesome, and your comments, no matter how brief, help me to feel less alone. I know how hard it is to know what to say -- really, what IS there to say, besides "I'm sorry, this sucks."? And yet, somehow, that's enough. So, in case I don't say it to you enough, THANK YOU. I've certainly not been the most supportive commenter / friend, and I've certainly done enough to drive many of you away. And yet you stay, and hold my hand, and comfort me, and give advice, and smother me in bloggy love.
I don't deserve it, but I sure am grateful.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
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It still sucks, but I'm glad you're in a better space today. A calm space? It is just so hard even knowing that options exist. It's mourning this before looking forward to that.
ReplyDeleteYou do have options, but I'm so sorry this cycle ended like this. I really wanted success for you two. And, are you kidding me? You deserve all the bloggy love we can muster and more! I'm thinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Jo. I'm glad that you're in a better place today, but take the time you need. Thinking of you today and sending lots of love.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry it is not working out, but I'm glad you are in a better place, mentally. I'm in a pretty similar spot. I'm still drawing BFNs 13 DPO, but I had my last cry about it over 36 hours ago. Now I'm looking at the blank white spot and practically shrugging.
ReplyDeleteI'm also holding on to the thought that we have options. Today, we have multiple routes to building a family, we have so many resources that women, even 10 years ago, did not posses. We will be ok, no matter what. Far more relevant than how long the road is, is how you walk it. Hugs.
I really wish this cycle would have ended differently! I had so much hope for you! But I'm so impressed with your attitude. You continue to be so strong and amazing. And you definitely deserve all the support in the world!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling better. It still sucks, but at least you do have options. I'm sure it's overwhelming, trying to determine your next step, but you guys will figure it out. Sending you hugs!
ReplyDeleteIm so glad you and Mo have eachother right now. It does suck, but in time you will find the option that works for you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, it's not the end, and recognizing that is important.
ReplyDeleteYour positive spirit really inspires me. I'm glad that there are so many options. But...it still sucks that this cycle didn't work. You deserve all the support we can give you...and more! I'm looking forward to seeing what your next step will be.
ReplyDeleteYour family will grow, I'm sorry this wasn't the time :( Lots of love!
ReplyDeleteIt does still suck...but you are right, there are options. And we are here thinking of you both.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteHey there old friend...I'm just catching up on everything. So very sorry. XO
ReplyDeleteSo sorry hun, I am sending hugs.
ReplyDelete